I go here in two days back up to Pittsburgh for another ultrasound of my neck to see if those "lesions" have changed in size at all and then a visit with my Endo to see what the game plan is. I went on Friday to once again be stabbed in my arm for the millionth time to have my blood drawn and finally got my results today. My TSH is 0.01 really low which would attribute to the almost constant palpitation I have and why my nails won't grown, and why my skin is awful, if only I got awesome symptoms like weight loss, but I'm still fat and tired. Go figure, although my TSH is low I'm sure that is where my doctor wants it to be, Also I got my thyroglobulin values!!! Now I do not know what it was in September, although the doctor said that they did not got down since treatment. At treatment they were 5.5 and today they are 2.3, which is where they were immediately following my surgery. I really hope this is good news! It is in normal range but I don't know if that is what they would consider normal for me. I don't know if they want my values to be zero since I had my TT.
If all goes well then I should not need to come back until my yearly body scan in April, and my husband keeps bugging me to have another baby. I don't know how that is going to figure into the equation. Can I get pregnant right after my scan? Will they let me get pregnant ever? I know my TSH will once again need adjusting. This is something my husband really wants but I just don't know if it will be safe for me. I want to be the healthiest me I can be. Getting back into healthy eating and exercise, detoxify my body, and the bodies of my children. I feel like I'm heading into a really good place in my life, save more, spend less, pay off my debt, loose weight, finally beat cancer. Ya know that stuff everyone resolves to do each new year, but this, this is MY year. Baby or no baby I will be just fine, just have to get through this week. I always get horrible anxiety a couple of weeks before any testing, or appointment. No one will ever understand what it feels like to think one minute that you are perfectly healthy and then that can all change with one test or labs and suddenly you are very very sick, you don't feel sick, you have never felt sick, you just can't wrap your head around all of this. Regardless you need to have the mentality that you are not sick, not that you are denial but that you are now in warrior mode and you will not be defeated. Cancer is as much mental as it is a physical disease. Regardless of my outcome I have made a resolution to make my diet and my body as clean as possible from here on out. I have a few other cancer friends that have decided to detoxify their bodies also to help fight the big C word. I am by no means struggling physically, I just don't want to give cancer the upper hand by putting junk and chemicals in my body. My mentally quality on the other hand still has not fully recovered.
Its amazing how how even almost one year later things still trigger such an emotional disturbance. Such as earlier I was digging in my medicine cabinet for something and one bottle fell out and rolled under the table, when I picked it up it was my synthroid and it was like reality smacked me in the face. How important this particular medication is to me, how this helps keep the cancer at bay, this is what keeps my body going, and about how I will be on this for the... rest....of...my...life..... The rest of my life because at 27 I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Now it's time for me to do something, I may not change the world but I am making an impact and I am bringing awareness to my situation.
So here in a few days I will have some good news, but good or not I will still roll with it.
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