Blogger Virgin

So.... I actually decided to write a blog, how exciting! Well I guess we will see. I really decided to write a blog after being diagnosed with cancer. Some of this is raw, some of this is funny, but all of this is me in my most vonerable time.

I'm 27 years old and I have cancer and even though I have known for almost a week that statement still leaves me numb.

I've cried it out, I've got mad at my thyroid who is a traitor, my arch enemy. I've got mad at God for putting this path before me, because it's not fair. How is this fair? At one point in time I thought I should have been aborted as a fetus because I am just too genetically malformed between the MTHFR, the Celiacs, and now this.

Back to the cancer, who gets cancer at 27? I don't have time to be sick or die. I have 2 little girls who need their mom around. I have a family who needs me. I have a who life to live. I know that the outcome of this cancer is fantastic but honestly I don't know how long I've had this and I am scared that they will tell me that it has spread to somewhere else. I know that's extremely rare but it's still a very real fear of mine, and I'm not ready to leave my kids. Speaking of which my oldest who will be 4 next month knows something is up. She will never leave my side now :( the past few nights have been awful trying to get her to go to sleep in her room. She crawls up on me like a cat to sleep and she will throw a fit if you try to move her so yea she knows something is up which breaks my heart.

I'm scared to death because I don't know what's ahead of me. The dr said that since I have papillary thyroid cancer with the proper treatment I should be cured. Keeping fingers crossed and a positive mindset. I go on the 21st of this month to UPMC to meet with the chief of endocrinology surgery. I know I will need my thyroid removed and then radiation after. Oh and I am 122 hours short of qualifying for FMLA. Bullshit!!! So LOA for me. I don't know how often I will write in this maybe when I am feeling down or anxious, maybe for updates. We shall see....

I will talk to you all later
Ali